Thankful for you

(Much of the correspondence that takes place among my church seems to end with the same affection: "Thankful for you." Hence, the title, apropos to this sincere story of appreciation for my church family.)

Today, I went up to my church to help wrap gifts for Affordable Christmas - an event that gives families in our community an opportunity to purchase Christmas gifts at extremely reduced prices. It's an amazing way to get to know the people who live in the area where the church is and I really enjoyed chatting with the families who came. And somehow wrapping gifts seems so much more fun when it's for someone else! :)

Before I went up to the church for my shift, though, I was battling anxiety and almost wanted to back out. I knew that the gift wrappers would be in the gallery, an area that tends to render almost everyone hard of hearing on Sunday mornings because it's not the most acoustically sound (ha, see what I did there?) place in the building. In other words, it be loud up in there! I only have one good hearing aid right now while I wait for new ear molds to arrive at my audiologist's office. I can't lipread and wrap presents at the same time. How was I going to engage with the shoppers and wrap their gifts at the same time, unable to filter out the dull roar of background noise?

But I was convicted that not going would be worse, so I made my way over and asked the gift wrap coordinator if she could pair me with another gift wrapper so that someone would have my back if communication became a problem. She happily teamed me up with another volunteer who graciously answered questions that I missed  hearing and helped carry on conversations with the shoppers. While all that was going on, we worked together to wrap gifts. I'm so thankful for those two ladies who were willing to help me be part of the team!

That led me to reflect on the other ways I'm able to serve my church family. I help our children's ministry most Sundays and there have been a few times where I wondered if I was the best person for the job. Trying to field questions from parents and volunteers, help volunteers troubleshoot the check-in process, interact with kids who haven't learned how to enunciate yet... all in the very same gallery that reaches fever pitch every week. Shouldn't someone with better hearing be doing this? Would I serve my church family better by stepping down and letting someone who is better equipped step up? Am I making Sunday mornings more complicated for other volunteers who have to do their own jobs in addition to helping me communicate?

But every time I've raised the question with other volunteers or staff, the answer has been a firm "NO." If anything, they ask me what else they can do to make sure that I am able to fulfill my duties every Sunday. They don't let my disability get in the way of my ability to serve! They don't just minister to me and make me the object of their compassion and kindness - though they do that as well! - they equip me to serve along with them. They embrace 1 Corinthians 12, especially verses 14-26:

For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. 

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

Having the right heart and attitude toward someone who lives with a disability is so important for a church that is seeking to love the "weaker" members. Formal ministries and programs and schedules and plans and events can be good ways for a church to connect with those who have a disability, but all of those would fall short without the right heart. I'm grateful to be part of a church that faithfully preaches God's goodness in and sovereignty over the hard things like disability and takes the Bible seriously when it says that we are all one in Christ.

So church family, I am indeed thankful for you, and delighted to grow with you - for God's glory and our joy!

The one with the baby talk

Random fact of the day: Keeping chicken fried rice in the fridge too long results in the eggs tasting rubbery after a while. Gross.

Hearing aids: I think I talk really loud. But no one ever tells me if I do. I just noticed a few patrons eavesdropping on my conversation at brunch today, so I thought maybe I was accidentally yelling. Oops. I can't tell how loud or quiet I am. I just try to match the noise level that I hear (or think I hear). Kind of like how when I drive, I just go at whatever speed everyone else is. Because the speed limit posting is just a suggestion, really.

In other news: Every now and then I get baby fever. I'm really not one of those girls who won't be happy until she's married with children. I'm savoring every moment of my single life. But my hormones don't care and tend to attack without warning. So once in a while, I wistfully wander through the baby section at department stores and dream about the pitter-patter of little feet. Sometimes I think my arms physically ache to hold a little one. One time, on Friends (get used to me starting sentences like this, too), Chandler and Monica were being interviewed to adopt a pregnant woman's baby. There was a mixup and the woman thought they were a different couple. When she found out they had misled her, she wanted to wash her hands of them. Chandler tried to talk her into giving them one more chance:

"I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife, she's already there. She's a mother without a baby."

And so my stupid hormones make me feel like a mother without a baby. But after a couple weeks, it passes. And I think about the upcoming wedding in our family and I dream about nieces and nephews instead. (I was thisclose to buying a baby shirt today that said "I love my auntie!" on it, even though I've been told in no uncertain terms that there are no plans for babies anytime soon. WHATEVER.)

So I decided to be hearing for a few minutes

My youngest brother's (16) band had a concert tonight. I didn't have my right hearing aid in (still need to call the audiologist!) and since the music was so loud, I turned off my left hearing aid.

And I could STILL hear the music in my right ear!

So just for kicks, I took out my left hearing aid and I could hear the music in both ears LOL! I decided to just go with it and enjoy being "hearing" for a few minutes!

Hilarity aside, it did concern me for the band members and the people there... my mom (who probably knows my hearing loss history better than I do) said I shouldn't be able to hear anything without my hearing aids until the noise hits the same frequency as a jet plane. That's LOUD, folks! All those kids jammin' to music as loud as a jet plane without any protection for their hearing... methinks I won't be the only hard of hearing person I know for very long!

I actually considered putting an earplug in my right ear just to protect the precious little I have left. Don't take it for granted, folks. Cover those ears! See my parents setting a fine example. ;)

Of COURSE she did

Random fact of the day: I just bought a car. I've owned two cars before this and they were named Strawberry Shortcake and Dory (as in "Ah speeaaak whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale"), respectively. Strawberry Shortcake was a red car (surprise, surprise) and Dory was a blue (surprise, surprise) car. This new one is white and her name is Amelia. As in Bedilia. Anyone remember reading Amelia Bedelia books when they were little? Good times. Anyway, she's not Amelia because she's white, I just decided it was time to get away from the cartoon-y names because dangit, 2010 is a new year and I'll be 27 this year and maybe I should act like it. So I picked Amelia because she just felt like an Amelia and now every time I think of her as Amelia, I think of Amelia Bedilia. So, adulthoold fail. Meh. It's more fun this way.

Hearing Aids: Soooo I had to go to the DMV Thursday to get a new driver's license. I moved, oh, five months ago and am just now getting around to doing important things like establishing my residency and registering to vote. What can I say? I'm slow. Anyway, so I picked the wrong day to go. I somehow didn't put together that I went on New Year's Eve, probably the last day before school starts again. Good LORD, the teenagers, all scrambling to get their permits/licenses before they go back to school. ANYWAY... the place was a madhouse. My old DMV had everything in one place - you could renew your license and register your vehicle under the same roof. Not so much with this one. This was strictly for issuing permits and licenses, was much smaller and definitely more crowded than what I was expecting.

I am so easily overwhelmed in those kinds of situations. There's a lot of noise, it's hard to hear other people talk and I worry that I won't understand what's going on and will look stupid in the process. Anyway, so I go up to check in and sure enough, I have a hard time understanding the government employee. I have to explain that I'm hard of hearing and I'm having trouble understanding him. And aha, there it is. Raised eyebrows, raised voice, overly enunciating. Good times. I get my information and move on. I stand in line, trying not to stare at ALL THE TEENAGERS (and their crazy moms haha), trying to figure out how I'll know when it's my turn to go. Some clerks raise their hands to indicate they're free, others yell out. I hope whoever I go to doesn't just yell out. I watch each clerk, trying to figure out which one I would probably understand the best and pray pray pray that I get to their station. I note one clerk - an older woman who doesn't look like English is her first language. I know I shouldn't stereotype and I was mentally kicking myself for it, but accents are my #1 fear. That and cranky people. Anyway, I pray pray pray that I don't have to go to her station but alas, everyone else is busy so I walk over, thinking this is going to be interesting.

And holy Zac Efron, she did have an accent (see? Stereotyping was right this time)... of COURSE she did. Anyway, I gave her my paperwork, she asked me a question, I shook my head and explained once again that I was hard of hearing and having trouble understanding her. She was so sweet about it though, and had no problem writing things down when I just couldn't get it. So I was thankful for that, but my ego is always bruised in those situations, anyway.

Then it was on to the camera. At my old DMV, they snap your picture and then you sit and wait for a few minutes while they make your license and they call your name when they're done. That was the part I was nervous about. I can't understand what someone's saying so I have to watch their face. (This doesn't always work well in a situation when I'm waiting for someone to call my name (like at the doctor's office, for example) because there are so many people around me and "Lucy" sounds and looks a lot like "Susie" and "Holly" and "Clooney" and anything really that ends in a "-y" sound and what if they said someone else's name and not mine and I go up and it's not mine and it's awwwkward and these are the kinds of things that go through my mind regularly) So I figured I'd just have to ask them to wave me over when they were done. Well everything's fine with the picture (I am not going to lie, I look hottt) but when I leave, the clerk says a lot of things I don't catch and bids me goodbye. But wait! What do I do? Do I wait for a few minutes? Do I leave? Do I ask him to wave me over? What's happening? What did I miss? So I swallowed my pride and asked him if I needed to wait and he'll call me over or... what? He looks at me like I'm a little bit stupid and probably repeats what he just told me, that he had just given me a temporary permit and the real license would be mailed me to me later. I say, ok thanks and run out, embarassed.

I resigned myself a while ago to just having to be embarrassed from time to time ... sometimes I have to ask questions that I didn't realize were already answered (so sometimes it's easier to just not ask the question at all) or say something someone else already said (so sometimes it's easier to just not say anything at all). But I just hate when that happens. It's awkward, even when the other person knows me and understands that this happens from time to time. It's hard to swallow, and while I know that embarrassment is just part of life, I wish it didn't have to be such a regular part of mine.

In other news: it's midnight (Happy Sunday) and I'm amused by how many people are on Facebook right now.

Now I'm going to go watch Grey's Anatomy because they have reruns on at this late hour and I miss how it used to be. You know, good. (ooooh, snarky points for me. Boom, roasted. Bonus random fact #2 - I love finding the most inopportune moments to interject a "Boom, roasted." I do this to drive my brother crazy. Grand fun. Another adulthood fail.)