Our church is going through a series on its core values. So far, we've done truth, worship, transformation and community. This week it was beauty and next week it will be city.
I gotta tell you, I was/am a little stumped on the beauty thing. Everything else makes sense to me. Truth - totally essential. Worship, duh. Transformation - ditto. Community... well, you'd hope a church would uphold community, yes? But beauty? I don't know about that. Beauty as I know it is so subjective. Skin-deep. In the eye of the beholder. I was willing to admit the value of beauty in everyday life but not quite ready to embrace it as a core value for a church.
So I've been praying that the Lord would lay this thing called beauty on my heart and that if there was merit to it as a value, core or otherwise, that He would open my eyes to that truth.
And today I kept thinking about this song we used to sing at my old church. One of the lines went, "In His time/in His time/He makes all things beautiful/in His time." Then I started thinking about what that meant, especially in light of my hearing loss. I had dinner with a friend last night and I was telling her that I was so much more willing to trust the Lord with my friendships (or what I sometimes feel is a lack thereof) and socialization and that I had to come to grips that the life I had in mind for myself (belonging, being part of a regular circle of friends, movie nights, weekend outings, etc) was not the life He had called me to. And then I (embarrassingly) starting tearing up. Dangit, I explained, I'm really more okay with this than my eyes are letting on! :)
So I was just mulling that over today, that maybe the life He has called me to isn't what I had in mind for myself, but that even with my hearing loss, He will make everything beautiful in His time. And that there is a time for everything. A time for friends and a time for loneliness. The writer of Ecclesiastes never specifies just how much time anything should take and I'm grateful. Maybe my time of loneliness is a lifetime and a time of friendship an eternity... in Eternity. But what is so promising about the "Time" passage is that there is a time for everything. If there is a time for tears, then there will be a time for not tears. If there's a time for loneliness, then there will be a time for not loneliness.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-15
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.
I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away."
There's a time for everything and I "cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end." His works are too great and unfathomable and marvelous and beautiful for me to comprehend and I can rest in that.
And now, it's time... for dinner. ;)
Showing posts with label loneliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loneliness. Show all posts
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
You'll never walk alone
Random fact of the day: VeggieTales are alive and well in my house. Things I've re-learned this weekend include, but are not limited to: God is bigger than the boogey man, a thankful heart is a happy heart and God made you special and He loves you very much! (insert cheesy grin)
Hearing aids: I've been reflecting lately on how lonely it is inside these hearing aids. Not in a wah-wah, poor me, life is soooooooooo hard kind of way. Just in a let's face it, this is the way it is kind of way. Even when I'm around people, it's hard not to get wrapped up in my own thoughts because trying to keep up with everyone gets tiring. Can you imagine a world in which the only person you could rely on to be a source of entertainment, a conversation starter or a deep thought sharer was... you? And not being able to find the words to explain to people what that's like? It's just lonely sometimes. And I wish I had better words to explain it. I think if people really know what when on inside of someone's hearing aids, they might be quicker to help. More eager to include. So this is me doing my best to put it out there.
In other news: I know I ragged on the Winter Olympics earlier, but I found myself watching them over the last few weeks. I cheered when Shaun White won a gold. I cried when Joannie Rochette skated. I sat on the edge of my couch during men's speed skating. And I loved that millions across the country and around the world were doing the same thing.
I'm really not an athletic person. My idea of hiking involves a gym and an elliptical. Skiing is best left to the pros and ice skating conjures images of butt-ice contact. No thanks. But I was riveted by the Opening Ceremony and have been following a bit of the Closing Ceremony tonight. I love that even in hard times - in the midst of earthquakes and wars and racism and tsunamis and terrorism and a thousand other horros - we can put aside our differences long enough to play some games. To just shut it all out for a little bit and cheer and cry and celebrate together.
One of my new favorite Olympic commercials is that "You'll Never Walk Alone" one that P&G has done as part of its "Moms" series. (Lyrics here) Love it. I always mist up at the end. Partly because, come on, how can you not? Mom's-my-biggest-fan doesn't leave dry eyes often. And partly because isn't that something we all need to know? To press on when things are tough and maybe even scary? That there's a light at the end of the tunnel and that we'll never go through it alone?
The song isn't an overtly Christian one, but the last lines say it all:
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
As long as that hope is in Christ, we will never walk alone. Even when I'm at my loneliest, I'm never really alone. And there is a tremendous amount of relief wrapped up in that one little sentence that all the words in the world couldn't do it justice.
Hearing aids: I've been reflecting lately on how lonely it is inside these hearing aids. Not in a wah-wah, poor me, life is soooooooooo hard kind of way. Just in a let's face it, this is the way it is kind of way. Even when I'm around people, it's hard not to get wrapped up in my own thoughts because trying to keep up with everyone gets tiring. Can you imagine a world in which the only person you could rely on to be a source of entertainment, a conversation starter or a deep thought sharer was... you? And not being able to find the words to explain to people what that's like? It's just lonely sometimes. And I wish I had better words to explain it. I think if people really know what when on inside of someone's hearing aids, they might be quicker to help. More eager to include. So this is me doing my best to put it out there.
In other news: I know I ragged on the Winter Olympics earlier, but I found myself watching them over the last few weeks. I cheered when Shaun White won a gold. I cried when Joannie Rochette skated. I sat on the edge of my couch during men's speed skating. And I loved that millions across the country and around the world were doing the same thing.
I'm really not an athletic person. My idea of hiking involves a gym and an elliptical. Skiing is best left to the pros and ice skating conjures images of butt-ice contact. No thanks. But I was riveted by the Opening Ceremony and have been following a bit of the Closing Ceremony tonight. I love that even in hard times - in the midst of earthquakes and wars and racism and tsunamis and terrorism and a thousand other horros - we can put aside our differences long enough to play some games. To just shut it all out for a little bit and cheer and cry and celebrate together.
One of my new favorite Olympic commercials is that "You'll Never Walk Alone" one that P&G has done as part of its "Moms" series. (Lyrics here) Love it. I always mist up at the end. Partly because, come on, how can you not? Mom's-my-biggest-fan doesn't leave dry eyes often. And partly because isn't that something we all need to know? To press on when things are tough and maybe even scary? That there's a light at the end of the tunnel and that we'll never go through it alone?
The song isn't an overtly Christian one, but the last lines say it all:
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
As long as that hope is in Christ, we will never walk alone. Even when I'm at my loneliest, I'm never really alone. And there is a tremendous amount of relief wrapped up in that one little sentence that all the words in the world couldn't do it justice.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
This is what happens when I give up caffeine
Random fact of the day: I have way too many calendars. Three in the kitchen, one in the bathroom, one in my bedroom, four in my cubicle. I have no explanation for this other than that they were free.
Hearing Aids: I don't have a lot on this topic today. Right now, I'm wrestling with two conflicting ideas: 1) I don't want my thoughts or my blog to be 100% consumed with being hard of hearing yet 2) the fact remains that being hard of hearing does affect an awful lot of my daily life. It's hard to find balance - how to address and deal with the valid issues that arise without making them out to be the End. Of. The. World.
Loneliness is a pretty constant companion for me - the company ebbs and flows, but it's always there on some level. I've been feeling it more keenly lately and I'm not sure why. I feel like I've wasted a lot of my 20s being mad and isolating myself and now that 30 is just three years away, I feel like I'm panicking and scrambling to make the most of the 20s I have left. But I'm not really sure how to do that, either.
In other news: I decided it's time to kick the habit... the Cherry Coke habit, that is. I am parting ways with my nectar of life in exchange for a slimmer waist and a body that's not dependent on caffeine to get through the day. So far, all I have to show for it are raging headaches (I feel like there are midget elf miners chipping away at my temples) and what I hope are not permanent bags under my eyes (seriously. I could put my groceries in them)... someone please tell me it gets better!!! And I know myself, I can't totally abandon all things cola, so I do plan to treat myself to Cherry Coke when I go out to eat or on a special occasion (like my birthday or something). I just need to get it out of my daily diet.
I would really love to be comfortable at church again. Maybe these thoughts should be under Hearing Aids because I'm struggling to plug in at church because of my communication difficulties. But sometimes I also think that I just don't know how to be comfortable at church after some of my past experiences. So I've just been mulling over what it means to be part of a local body. What does it look like? How does it look on Sunday? During the rest of the week? I haven't come up with a lot. What's important to YOU in a local assembly?
Hearing Aids: I don't have a lot on this topic today. Right now, I'm wrestling with two conflicting ideas: 1) I don't want my thoughts or my blog to be 100% consumed with being hard of hearing yet 2) the fact remains that being hard of hearing does affect an awful lot of my daily life. It's hard to find balance - how to address and deal with the valid issues that arise without making them out to be the End. Of. The. World.
Loneliness is a pretty constant companion for me - the company ebbs and flows, but it's always there on some level. I've been feeling it more keenly lately and I'm not sure why. I feel like I've wasted a lot of my 20s being mad and isolating myself and now that 30 is just three years away, I feel like I'm panicking and scrambling to make the most of the 20s I have left. But I'm not really sure how to do that, either.
In other news: I decided it's time to kick the habit... the Cherry Coke habit, that is. I am parting ways with my nectar of life in exchange for a slimmer waist and a body that's not dependent on caffeine to get through the day. So far, all I have to show for it are raging headaches (I feel like there are midget elf miners chipping away at my temples) and what I hope are not permanent bags under my eyes (seriously. I could put my groceries in them)... someone please tell me it gets better!!! And I know myself, I can't totally abandon all things cola, so I do plan to treat myself to Cherry Coke when I go out to eat or on a special occasion (like my birthday or something). I just need to get it out of my daily diet.
I would really love to be comfortable at church again. Maybe these thoughts should be under Hearing Aids because I'm struggling to plug in at church because of my communication difficulties. But sometimes I also think that I just don't know how to be comfortable at church after some of my past experiences. So I've just been mulling over what it means to be part of a local body. What does it look like? How does it look on Sunday? During the rest of the week? I haven't come up with a lot. What's important to YOU in a local assembly?
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